There are two kinds of people: Decentfolk – clean, respectable, proud... and Evildoers – amoral, psychopathic, lazy. Learn how to tell the difference...

Warning: Lock your doors – Crime's Out of Control

On no account believe the following figures from the British Crime Survey, Britain's most authoritative study on crime:

• Crime has fallen by 25% in the last five years

• The risk of becoming a victim of crime is at an historic low

• There has been a 39% fall in burglary since 1997

• The average household is burgled only once every 50 years

• There's been a 31% fall in vehicle-related thefts since 1997


Scaremonger Watch

Are the media scaremongers? Of course not. Newspapers just reflect the public demand to be frightened stupid. Just good business, supply and demand. Scaremongering politicians? Come now – why would high-status Decentfolk want to scare us shitless?

On no account believe the following claims from the British Crime Survey (source as above):

• Almost three-quarters of the public believe crime has risen (despite falls in crime).

• 38% believe that crime had risen "a lot".

• Readers of tabloid newspapers are more likely to think crime has risen,
   compared to broadsheet readers (43% compared with 26%).

And don't believe the findings of a study which showed that increasing police presence increased fear of crime:,3604,1059121,00.html)

Citizen Watch

Do not be misled. You are in danger. It's spiralling out of control. Why do you think condiments such as pickles, preserves, jams, etc, now need to be refrigerated? A few decades ago, refrigeration was not necessary. It's suspicious. You should report all suspicious activity to the authorities immediately.

Key points:

• If in doubt, it's suspicious
• Report people who act a bit funny
• Report people who look a bit funny
• If in doubt, inform the authorities


CCTV Watch

A UK government report on the effectiveness of CCTV in reducing crime says CCTV has "little or no effect" on crime in city centres or on public transport, and "no effect" on violent crimes. (It does have an effect in car parks).


If CCTV did work, crime wouldn't be spiralling. But since crime is always spiralling, by definition, it follows that all attempts to "get tough on crime" fail. Therefore we need to get even tougher on crime. It's flawless logic.

Terrorist Watch

On no account believe US State Department figures showing that terrorism is at its lowest level in 35 years. And don't believe their graphs: (see the "Year in review" section) (7.4MB PDF file)

US State Dept. graph showing the declining number of terrorist attacks over the last 20 years

Don't believe the Pentagon or the UK government's chief scientific advisor when they say the threat of terrorism is much smaller than that of climate change. How can the actions of Decentfolk (eg driving cars) threaten us more than the actions of Evildoers?


See also Terrorism in context – a comparison of the death toll from 9/11 with more mundane threats.