Survey Questions Outrage!!

How Pollsters slant
questions to get
results fit for
sleazy tabloid

Worried woman Worried man

Anxiety Culture can now bring you the truth behind the survey questions which lead to such parental-anxiety inducing survey results as: “60% of 16 year-olds have used illegal drugs”.

A source inside a major national opinion poll company has leaked a set of survey questions to us (see right). We were very concerned to see the content of these questions, which were aimed at an age group of 15 and 16 year-olds.

Some cynical people have said that teenagers would hesitate to tick an answer which shows them to be dull and boring.

Back in the adult world, a major sex survey recently carried out in the US, by sociologist E.Laumann, has come under criticism because internal inconsistencies in the findings indicate that a significant proportion of the respondents were being untruthful. If adults tell lies in a scientific study...

Tick yes to one of the following:

Do you stay at home a lot, behave yourself, obey your superiors and generally stay out of trouble?


Do you experiment with drugs, get drunk, carry a knife, go joyriding and generally have a good time?

“One in three 14 year-olds
have taken illegal drugs”
(A statistic quoted on a drug debate
TV programme, BBC1 27/4/98).

Remember: always believe
everything you’re told by
people in suits